Posted 2:48 AM by Andy
The Game

Mama warnin' me not to be corrupt
To trade heavenly gold for earthly muck
Everything that I work for, there's got to be more
To see your name in lights, decked out in ice,
Chivas Regal on the rocks, I've got this town on lock,
My paycheck just got fatter,
Jack Ma dissin' us with his swagger,
I'm a gun for hire, cuz' I showed Kobe's fire
Used to sing in a church choir,
now Mama says be careful what you sire,
If you hook up with a vixen,
Your fate will be written,
Options nothing but paper,
Undaunted by haters,
Achieve all your dreams, cuz' you're the cream
Of the crop, rise to the top
But there is a meta, something that's better
Find your soul's lover, before it's game over.

Posted 3:57 AM by Andy
Time to cleanse the mental slate again, so here it comes.

May Holidays. As much as I like to travel and experience new sights and cultures, I forsook any travel plans and just stayed in Shanghai due to low availability of options to Thailand at a reasonable price. The seven-day layoff presented plenty of time to do what I usually do on hiatus, namely read, work out, socialize, and meet new people. Monday I chilled at home since nobody seemed to want to go out. After a long respite from online poker, I logged in again only to discover my account has been frozen due to surpassing the upper limit in account holdings. It was weird not being able to play due to a software bug that gave the error message “The minimum buy-in at this table is $100,000. You have $29,000,000. Please go to the account tab to replenish.” My work-around solution was to start a new account. After a few sessions, I parlayed $1000 into over $2 million. Too bad it's play money. In the beginning of the week I had dinner with Jimmy C, the jovial former SMIC budget man and future banker. As much as I rag on him, he’s a good guy. One day, I went to the Art Museum and walked into an Armani retrospective collection. On another day I went to Zhouzhuang with some folks from Jiaotong University, the water-town nearby dubbed the mini-Suzhou by some. It's a tourist trap but it was still nice to get out of the house. I met Tony and two of his friends for dinner one night. One of them is a tour guide from Jinzhou, a town in Hebei province. She offered to take us around if we visit her hometown and give us the royal treatment. I sang with Maggie, Helen and their friends one afternoon. I was reminded how stunning Maggie looks because she knows how to dress, but that boat has sailed. Nelson didn't respond to my calls as I tried to get the inside scoop on why the proposed SMIC spinoff failed. I met up with Rob as we both shared our latest war stories in the trenches of the tech and dating scene. A funny but instructive quote from him, “If she were Taiwanese, I would marry that.” I hear you, buddy. I met up with Coco one night since I was bored. Saturday I joined Angel with my other eBay coworkers to sing. We ended up playing some drinking games. I was buzzed by the end of the night and Angel's manager kept leaning into me and resting her head on my shoulder. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and did not infer anything from that initiative since it's the first time we met. The week ended thankfully and I am back to the grind.

Work. A new product manager, Alex D, has joined my group. He used to work for Shanda, the most popular online gaming company here. Our new CTO will start this week. Alan Y, my buddy from the Community team, is leaving for MBA studies at MIT after this week. I'm preparing a benchmarking study of Eachnet's community offerings vs. Taobao's. The pace is still a bit slower than I like, but I suppose there are worse things in life.

Flakes. I know I need to extend grace because circumstances change and attitudes waver, but I still resent it when people renege on appointments. My philosophy is if you don't want to join an activity or meet up, don't commit to it. Don't confirm, then change your mind at the last minute. That is the worst thing that can happen since I have allotted my time to it. I become extremely agitated because in life, your word is your bond. A related idea in terms of contracts: the deal you make with someone is only as good as the integrity of that partner. The legalese will support you and clarify issues but it shouldn't be the defining factor in the agreement. I'm ranting here because I planned a party at my new apartment for my SMIC small group members and none of them showed up. Four confirmed, then recanted at the last minute. Two at least had the decency to inform me of their change of heart via text message. The other two didn't bother. I wonder why I consider them friends? I intentionally include you in my life and then find out that doesn't warrant a text message? Unbelievable.

Social Life. Related to the vent above, I'm sensing my ties to SMIC weakening more and more. It has been four months since I've left the firm, and although I still go back on occasion for small group and bball, the lives of the employees there contrasted with mine are so different. They are still living the sheltered life on the commune while the backlash against the firm is unrelenting (check Wikipedia's entry.) It's also very difficult to build and sustain a friendship with local girls here because of different expectations. What I should advertise upfront with any new girl I meet is that I'm not looking for a girlfriend or a wife, just a friend. Many girls cannot seem to accept that condition. You're labeled either as a player out for a score or a decent guy who aims for marriage. There is no middle ground. So there ensues a series of mini-dates with girls that end after 3 encounters. I suppose it's fair that there is no point to wasting time if you're in the market for a potential mate with a guy that has declared himself ineligible. My choice is to become completely shallow and treat them for what they are, a temporary diversion and nothing more. It's sad but the current state of affairs I'm experiencing. When a girl actually accepts my condition, I'm pleasantly surprised. I had to declare that to Coco the second time we met to clarify my stance, and she seemed to take it well. I also don't quite understand my feelings for Angel. She has a few character traits that I find unappealing (like smoking), yet she is such a cool girl to chill with. A few nights ago when we went dancing, I instinctively inserted myself into the mix to fend off guys who encroach in the neutral zone, i.e. dance right up against her. I didn't want to perform the blocking maneuver too quickly to seem like an over-protective prude, but at the same time I want her to feel completely safe and secure. So I follow the five-second rule, allow guys to dance with her for the duration of a line in a song, then firmly insert my arm in between them and pull her back out of the scrum. It's a fine line to tread. At the moment, we are chat buddies, singing compadres, and occasional drinking pals. She is planning a salsa class so we may become dance partners as well. Girls who deal well with unspoken feelings are cool.