Posted 8:31 PM by Andy
Although the misty rains of winter still make their appearance intermittently, spring and its accompanying sunshine has come to stay.

Work. During March the office was somewhere between purgatory and hell for me. The actual time spent wasn't excessive, but the energy expended and mental anguish experienced can only be described as torturous without hyperbole. Technically we concluded an audit at the behest of a major IP vendor, and as the main coordinator of the entire experience answering to parties from both sides, I felt like a piece of meat on display at the butcher shop subjected to prodding and poking, flipping, massaging, spinning, all to reach a six-figure settlement amount of underpayment. The eye-opening thing about this is the fact that a decision was made to adopt the payment plan intentionally by senior management for cash-flow reasons. In other words, a group of folks decided to delay paying the piper until a later time period and I took the brunt of explaining this decision and driving the resolution of the effects. In April, I've had somewhat of a reprieve from the barrage but I basically shifted focus to preparing another round of royalty payments for the first quarter.

Change Vs. Status-kuo. Work also has highlighted a preference of mine starkly. Most people desire stability interspersed by episodes of change, whether in scenery or vocation. I crave constant change punctuated by equilibrium. In other words, performing the same tasks repeatedly saps me of life. Another way to look at this is administration versus creation. Some people are extremely talented at fulfilling the tasks of a bureaucrat, completing forms and stamping signatures. Others like myself loathe those chores and thrive on creative work. If you want me to write some blurb or perform a song or skit, I won't need much convincing. When the balance is tilted too much towards administration away from creation, I become agitated. During the last six weeks I have had one shouting match with my manager and voiced a few complaints about this issue. The response from management was bear it while we look to hire new people to share the load. I'm still waiting to see the profit-sharing amount that will be given to us at the end of the month after a quarter delay due to a lawsuit settlement with TSMC. I've heard it will be miniscule compared to the past. I'm aghast at the list of atrocities HR has committed in their policies in compensation towards staff (removal of previously granted salary increases is one example.) Another interesting policy, somewhat ill-conceived but self-preserving I suppose is the firm-wide rule that employees cannot short the stock. I cannot imagine the depths the stock can go to were that rule not in force.

Social life. As I have alluded to before, our life here is in a fishbowl. Seemingly every move is scrutinized and critiqued, even in our private lives. Who I converse and socialize with is a subject of wide concern. It's disheartening sometimes. One girl almost cried asking me why I don't talk to her more. My flabbergasted response was, "What do you want me to say?" Last week I was thrown a curve-ball when a female friend asked to DTR with me. For the uninitiated, DTR stands for define the relationship. This is after hanging out with her twice. Of course I was non-commital but I said many things to affirm the friendship. I am so wary of my moves being misinterpreted that I declined a weekend trip with another girl in the same department as DTR girl for fear that I will mislead her and upset DTR girl too. I find myself in the weird situation of intentionally not spending time with people I like because of the high-pressure stakes that come with socializing with one of SMIC's own. This highlights the necessity of forming another social circle outside of the company so I can keep private things private.

Alternate Social Universe. Another weird episode occurred when some single gals from HR invited a few single guys from my department out to a group dinner. I was on the initial invitation list but was asked not to attend because I'm "too direct", i.e. too much of a player in their eyes. I understood they are guarded against someone who seems more aggressive compared to the local engineers. An hour before the arranged dinner, my friend gave me permission to go again, in essence, lifting the Pan-embargo from the HR department. That was the stated message, but the actual message proclaimed loudly that the actual intent was different. We were each given a seating chart around the dinner table. I was placed next to a senior HR manager who is around 60 years old and my friend Arain who is dating someone. Every other person had at least one single person next to him or her. In other words, I was restricted even in that setting from forming any untoward dalliances. It's quite amusing when you think about it.

Homegirls. Another observation I made about myself is that I need at least one or two close female friends around. I need an outlet and source to chat about topics of interest mainly to girls. That's why Situ's recent dissatisfaction with work and pending leave of absence is disturbing. Without her around, I will have to vent my frustrations and consult about relationship questions to a new confidante. I'm thinking of recruiting a friend graduating from Cal this year to join me to fill that void.

Next time. May holidays in Hong Kong and Taiwan. House-hunting with parents on their visit from US.