Posted 11:51 PM by Andy
I have some peace and quiet now to reflect on the activities of the last month, so let me delve right into it.

Question solution. I solved the dilemma with two simultaneous weddings in different parts of the country by reframing the problem. I went up to golf with Wade during his bachelor party two weeks prior to his wedding, freeing me up to go to Austin this past weekend for Dave W’s festivities. That weekend I played pool, basketball, and golf. I averaged a par 4.5 on a par 3 course over nine holes. Not too shabby for my first outing. Talked to a guy (white man whose name escapes me) about his journey to the faith at Lumps welcome dinner. Conversed with Susan about her UNESCO experience at City Church, venting my frustration at diplomacy’s crippled state in world affairs. During the dinner at Macaroni Grill, Wade received an underwear from his ex-roommate’s boyfriend as a present. While showing it off, the guy at the next table who is a mutual friend exclaimed, “I thought this is a family restaurant?”, garnering some laughs.

Austin. Beautiful city with plentiful leafy vegetation and pristine (not quite, but it supplies pleasant imagery) lakes with heat being the only drawback. John’s tardiness in the morning by 20 minutes cost me six hours total as I left the house at 8:20 a.m. and arrived in Austin at 10:30 p.m. on Thursday. I was bumped from my scheduled flight because I arrived as the boarding process began. My attempt at walking on the connecting flight in Phoenix at 2:30 p.m. was foiled when every guest appeared on time. I was bummed that I missed playing in the high-stakes Texas vs. Cal grudge match bball game. The Cal guys worked out rigorously in anticipation of the game and entered the contest donning their custom-made canary yellow jerseys. Cal prevailed in a close game 74-70. Thank goodness because the wager Dave made was ridiculous and had many people questioning his sanity. You have to ask him. Waded in shallow waters at Lake Austin on Friday. Ate Texas barbecue for three meals. Worshipped at Austin Chinese Church on Sunday morning. Played ball in scorching dry mid-Sunday afternoon at Motorola before booking it to the airport just in time to fly back to LA (darn those heightened security measures.) The main event was elegant as worship songs reverberated throughout the sanctuary during much of the ceremony. Dave wrote a touching tribute to his parents delivered by his sister Amy. As he wiped his moist eyes repeatedly during the exchange, I had to blink rapidly several times to avoid overflooding my own eyes. I talked to a couple of wives, Vicky and Pam, about their first years in marriage. Thanks to Ben H, Albert Y, and Julian C, I made my way to all the engagements over the weekend. Talked to Robert L about his travels in Europe and China over the last year and his upcoming move to SF. Reconnected with my ex-roommate Mitch L and met his girlfriend. Sat contentedly listening to Ang H gab about her Shanghai stories. Talked to Brian C about investing and building wealth to avoid the rat race and being free to go anywhere at any time. The most impressive thing about the whole affair is the amount of people that showed up from distant locations for the couple. That always moves me when people are willing to travel thousands of miles to celebrate with you when you don’t have the accoutrements of status or title behind your name.

Paul. By far the most calming thing was being with Paul again. I just marvel at how he coordinated everything and cared for my needs as the best man. He initiated a prayer meeting the night before the wedding where 15 guys laid hands on Dave to beseech God to consecrate his marriage. I watched him draft and then deliver the best man toast at the reception. He pulled it off with aplomb, highlighting Dave’s quirkiness and evolution of character through growth in worship, prayer, and the Word. Topics of conversation throughout the 36 hours I spent with him: roleplaying as Bush’s foreign policy advisor on North Korea, Turkey, and Liberia; affirmative action (recommendation is to institute a sunset clause with activation tied to fulfillment of certain social indicators); relationship with his girlfriend (listening to him inquire after her welfare and then call back ten minutes later to say he misses her made me alternately want to gag and admire his devotion); sharing verses – where a man’s heart is, there his treasure will be (the symbiotic yearning for the object of desire that grows when one sets his heart on it which inflames his passion because it meets his needs); the beginning of Dave’s life at the end of the ceremony; the surrender of political ambition; the wildness of my heart when I am out of his orbit. We wrapped up our time together by praying in our room on Saturday night.

July 4th. I went to a barbecue hosted by my parents’ friends from church. Earlier I had bumped into a childhood friend Allen C on Father’s Day. This is a fascinating guy who deserves a separate paragraph. The next day I rolled to two barbecues. At the first, I discussed with Ken city planning considerations (zoning, parking, entrances;) heard LD share his struggles as a Christian in a Catholic family; talked to Steve about his views on Castro and the Cuban residents’ perspectives on the dictator and his search for a soulmate; talked to Jeff about the politics of church splits and his philosophy of courtship. At the second I played poker with Stu C, a public interest lawyer at the Asian American Legal Center, and a few other brothers. I lost my $10 bankroll in about 45 minutes. I have a good poker face, but my weakness is overoptimism. I lost a few hands to straights and flushes with two pairs.

Making of a man. I knew Allen from church when he first immigrated to America. The 3-year age gap is huge to overcome in high school so although I didn’t spurn him outright I didn’t really befriend him either. Fast forward 17 years to this summer. I bumped into him at a local eatery in Torrance and we exchanged promises to hang out. I met up with him at his house on Independence Day and during the course of the day we caught up on the intervening years. He confirmed my suspicions by telling tales of his days in the Chinese mafia. A few years back there were some fracas with a good friend of mine John W, who incited a beating by Allen’s crew with his cocky attitude and trash-talking ways. Later John’s friend retaliated by cursing Allen out in front of his horrified parents. There were more exchanges until Allen’s father succumbed to cancer. After the memorial service, I approached Allen to offer condolences and any help he needed. Because of that gesture, he gives me respect. Back at the house as he related stories from his current life, Carl C walked in. Carl is a pastor’s son who is a club promoter. As their stories unfolded, (inconveniences like covering up the dragon tattoo on his back during trips to Raging Waters to prevent scaring the kids) I realized I was talking to two kingpins of LA. One is a former godfather that still retains his charismatic and big brother mannerisms. The other is a current entertainment don who controls 1/5 of the nightlife traffic in southern Cal. Carl has the harder edge, while Allen just wants to have a good time. The thing that draws me to Allen besides his natural charisma is his partly reformed soul. I sat incredulously once listening to him deliver a profanity-laced invitation to an atheist friend to attend church service with him and arguing for the reality of God. He wants to visit Newsong with me sometime.

Lunch with Frank W and friends. I hung out with Frank during his trip through LA from China. As we cruised through Santa Monica and Rodeo Drive, we discussed his plan for an educational media company and other opportunities in Shanghai. Conversed with Gloria about her experiences as a teacher and the transient community overseas. Talked to Christine C about our father’s 60th birthdays later this year.

Lunch with Joanne. We discussed her work with Relief International. The biggest question I harbor is still program evaluation. How do you ensure that aid is channeled to the proper recipients on the ground? We also shared about our relationships with our parents, specifically the dynamic with our mothers.

Counsel from Jen Y. I met up with this college buddy to discuss her new relationship and receive advice on dating strategies. She shared some insights about care packages.

Tanesha. I met Tanesha at Newsong two weeks ago. After service in the food area, she came up and sat on the bench with me. It turns out she is Thai and needs to return to Thailand in a few weeks when her visa expires. She has a slight accent with intelligible English that endows it with sexiness.

Small group. I’ve attended one study so far and cannot say I am comfortable with the group yet. It didn’t help that the passage we studied is tinged with controversy, namely the loss of salvation for a Christian. It is fairly large but Denise and Lea are welcoming.
I baked some red-bean paste biscuits for a beach outing last month that everyone seemed to enjoy. I saved some for Annie but I can’t tell if she likes them or is just being polite because she ate one that night and left the rest untouched on her kitchen counter a few days later.

Anne HBH. Continuing in the series with the most unforgettable women I have encountered in my life, I present Anne. I enjoyed a platonic friendship with her in high school where she hung out with Eric L and myself like one of the boys. She wrote me during her first couple years at UCLA to talk about random things like her menstrual cycle before she disappeared into Hong Kong.

The search for a vocation. I talked to a few people about the World Bank Institute. The pay is low ($35 K per annum, tax exempt, day off every other Friday, 5 weeks of vacation per year,) the experience is decent, and the location is ideal. Paul interviewed with them and passed on the opportunity to me. I played phone tag for a week with a recruiter from PG&E in SF before giving up. The utility is still mired in Chapter 11 so I am fine with a dead-end here. I talked to Sony Pictures about their online offering but the conversation came off stunted as the recruiter didn’t understand the articulation of my career goals (“Product management at a software company or the software function within an integrated firm.”) Tomorrow I have a phone interview with SRI’s consulting arm, for a research position with their digital futures group. In the meantime, to keep busy and update my knowledge base, I enrolled in two classes at UCLA. Managerial finance is fascinating but overwhelming in the amount of work assigned, so I dropped it after the second week. Interesting case studies include Enron’s collapse (off-balance sheet accounting, auditor and consultant conflict of interest, massive dilution of stock value through imbalanced compensation and dumping led to its demise) and Trump’s financial operating style (threaten default on loans to squeeze favorable repayment rates.) Cost accounting is more staid but useful nonetheless as I have learned various methods to calculate and allocate costs. If no attractive opportunity is available stateside, I will go to Shanghai.

Validation. From Wilson’s concluding remarks of “I love you” to his wife after every phone call and my own neglect of key people in my life, the significance of verbal affirmation is brought to my attention again and again. A sister recently shared her struggles of depression with me. Why does a person suffer such lows in personal self esteem and lose hope in life? My own thesis is that he or she does not receive enough encouragement in the form of verbal pats on the back. When the pattern repeats day after day, the spirit withers and the outlook darkens.

Ideas from books: Fermat’s Enigma. Mathematicians are among the most intelligent but most impractical people alive. Men have spent the most productive parts of their lives trying to break a riddle hundreds of years old that seemed intractable. Number theory is esoteric to say the least but attracts the most brilliant minds to its contemplation. Gene Masters. The human genome is an incredible tool to have as a lens into the human constitution. The discovery of the genome’s sequence was fraught with competition and bitterness between private and public consortia. King of the Mountain. Like chimpanzees, some men are driven to dominate the social hierarchy. They will either reach the top or die trying. Rewards include greater access to wealth, women, and a legacy. Drawbacks include frequent assassination attempts and a host of psychological disorders. The greatest names in history are megalomaniacs. Curiously enough, of the seven traits of the top political leaders in history (presence, egoism, vision, empathy, paranoia, courage, and curiosity,) I possess three definite ones (egoism, paranoia, curiosity.)

On the shelf: Living History (autobio of Hillary Clinton,) Power Plays (profiles of men’s usage of political strategies.)